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Pray for Your Own Discovery - Chapter 6

4/28/2015

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Our last Thomas Merton session covered a difficult chapter for many of us. As the evening started, I was struck by how different the moods of people were as expressed by the word or phrase they shared with the group after our time of silence. The mood of those attending ranged in feelings from being unsure and confused to grateful and appreciative. Yet, despite how varied it was that we came to the evening, we were able to engage in dialogue and share meaningfully with one another. It was also wonderful to see some folks who had so far been primarily listening, open up to the group and begin to share as a deeper sense caring and safety of community continues to develop. Finally, several folks shared the sense of being in sacred mystery that they are experiencing they open more deeply into contemplative living. I was particularly touched by one of our members who has opened up deeply to listening, trying to still his own thoughts and focusing on a presence to the lessons found in the world around him; the sacred mystery in which we are immersed.

As we began to explore Chapter 2, What Contemplation Is Not, I was moved by the realization that, though Merton uses many words to describe his experience of what Contemplation is and is not, that one of our group had a profound frustration with "Words, Words, Words" and through this, opened up to a deeper appreciation of Contemplation which cannot be expressed through words. This appeared to relate closely to an observation made by another member that Merton was a poet in his use of words. It has been my experience reading Merton, that it is not so much the contents of what he writes but the phrasing read with a certain cadence and pace that reveals his deep experience and equally deep realizations. Read that way, it may change how someone experiences what Merton writes about.

As we discussed Chapter 6, an observation was shared that Merton can (and should) be read at different levels:
  1. As someone who has advanced deeply along the spiritual journey and has profound realizations to share that are broadly applicable to anyone looking for more intimacy with God.
  2. As a man experiencing his own unique spiritual journey and sharing that with us. His unique journey reflects and is influenced by his own life experiences and my express a healing and awakening which is unique to Thomas Merton.
  3. As a monk, Thomas Merton is living a vocation dedicated to a pursuit of intimacy with God. There are certain aspects of his writing that are dedicated to those who have taken on a similar vocation.
For me, approaching Merton's writings aware of all these aspects adds a flavor to absorbing his writings that helps me better appreciate and apply them to my own life situation and the relationship with God I feel called to develop.

Though much was shared about Chapter 6, the notion that "We become contemplatives when God discovers Himself in us." was particularly meaningfully to me.  We discussed that to really "know God" requires an emptying of ourselves (the shedding of our false self) in (a true self) humility that finally realizes that we don't have the capacity to know God in our humanity. That it is only the part of God that dwells in us that has the capacity to discover and know God. Any attempt to rely upon our (false) self to know God will be "like a stone knows the ground upon which it rests in its inertia."

Finally, let me share a poem by Rumi, the Sufi mystic, which, to me summarizes this chapter to me. It speaks to consent, awareness and openness to God as we wait for Him to discover Himself in us. Perhaps the cynic is our own false self? The inexplicable longing is our desire for God which is God's longing in ourselves to discover Himself:

Love Dogs
One night a man was crying,
Allah! Allah!
His lips grew sweet with the praising,
until a cynic said, "So! I have heard you
calling out, but have you ever gotten any response?"

The man had no answer to that.
He quit praying and fell into a confused sleep.

He dreamed he saw Khidr, the guide of souls,
in a thick, green foliage.
"Why did you stop praising?"
"Because I've never heard anything back."
"This longing you express is the return message."

The grief you cry out from draws you toward union.

Your pure sadness that wants help is the secret cup.

Listen to the moan of a dog for its master.
That whining is the connection.

There are love dogs no one knows the names of.

Give your life to be one of them.
― Rumi

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Things In Their Identity - Chapter 5

4/14/2015

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As we completed our reflection on Contemplation in Chapter 1, we discussed how "Contemplation" is the root of all man's intellectual and spiritual life but is beyond what we can understand; it can only be deeply experienced. Contemplation is a gift of God to us. At its core, Contemplation is an awareness, realization and experience of what Christians believe: "It is now no longer I that live, but Christ lives in me." (Galatians 2:20). It is poor in concepts, poorer still in reasoning, but able, by its very poverty and purity to follow the Word "wherever He may go."

In our discussions of Chapter 5 we talked about the great diversity of created things from the smallest organisms (bacteria) to the largest (trees and mountains.) The individuality found in diversity is not an imperfection but part of God's design and perhaps a reflection of His infinite nature. For the created things, like trees and animals, their very being is a natural expression of God's will, and as such, they are "saints" sanctified by being just what God created them to be.

By giving humans free will, God gives us the freedom to be whatever we like. Because we have our will, holiness is more than humanity, our vocation is to work together with God in the creation of our own life, our own identity our own destiny. To work out our own identity in God, which the Bible calls "working out our salvation" (Philippians 2:12-13) is a labor that requires sacrifice and anguish, risk and many tears. It demands close attention to reality at every moment and great fidelity to God as He reveals Himself, obscurely, in the mystery of each new situation. 

In this Chapter Merton continues to discuss the false self. To say that I was born in sin is to say that I came into the world with a false self. I was born with a mask... thus I came into existence and nonexistence at the same time because from the very start I was something that I was not. He further writes that the false self cannot exist because it exists outside of God's will and God's love - outside of reality and outside of life.

Merton also introduces True Self in this chapter which is finding out who I am. The secret of my identity (True Self) is hidden in the love and the mercy of God. But whatever is in God is really identical with Him for His infinite simplicity admits no division and no distinction. Therefore I cannot hope to find myself anywhere except in Him. Therefore, there is only on problem on which all my existence, my peace and my happiness depend: to discover myself in discovering God. If I find Him I will find myself and if I find my True Self I will find Him. This is something that no (hu)man can do alone. The only one who can teach me to find God is God, Himself, Alone.

I recommend two additional sources that talk about the false self and True Self. They are: The Human Condition: Contemplation and Transformation by Fr. Thomas Keating and Immortal Diamond: The Search for our True Self by Fr. Richard Rohr. Either of these can be purchased at your favorite bookseller or you can download The Human Condition by clicking on the linked title above.

Finally, there were two important points made in our evening's discussions: (1) Did God make all things for good? If a Tree gives glory to God by being a Tree, does something like Cancer give glory to God by being Cancer?  This is something we all need to personally ponder but, like Job regarding suffering, I am coming to an understanding that there a limit to our understanding regarding how God works. Our false self looks to try to explain all mystery, especially those that appear threatening to us. Those of the Christian tradition may consider reading Job:38-42. (2) Did Jesus suffer during his death on the cross, after all if he had Divine knowledge he must have foreseen his own resurrection? The point made during our evening discussion was that knowledge does not necessarily alleviate human physical pain, anguish and suffering. The important implication relating back to True Self is that even if we operate out of the place of True Self, we will still experience discomfort, pain and physical suffering, but we may be better able to cope, accept and understand it.
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    Paul Uccello and I have been facilitating the Bridges to Contemplative Living with Thomas Merton program at the  Spiritual Life Center in West Hartford CT since the Spring of 2013. I've begun posting reflections from these workshops here starting in Fall 2014.

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